The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
