Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize