belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just pynch a tree in the face
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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