Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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