$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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