you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
How does one acquire holy water?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
