i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
