Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
