We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
