you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Your cock deserves a montage
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
