just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
