Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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