Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
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