In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
