My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
