Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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