Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
