peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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