white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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