Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
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I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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