whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I just blew my weed a kiss
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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