This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
