The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize