just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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