I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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