I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
