Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
