Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
