i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
