So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Dignity is for republicans.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He better not be in your backpack
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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