i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
