yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
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