Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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