i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
