Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
