i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
