what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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