i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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