dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
