Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
