Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
