I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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