May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
