dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
