Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
