I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
