so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
