you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Randomize
