I wish they made helmets for livers.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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