i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
birth control should be required to get into college
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
