My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
