i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We need to get me chipped asap
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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