Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I need to calm my uterus...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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