i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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