She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
