soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I have already put on my inside pants.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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