According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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